Curiosity ~ Lucidity ~ Humanity
A strange film passed over Adam’s eyes, giving him the lifeless primaeval look that a lizard has, basking in the swooning Southern heat.
Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
Purchase an iguana as soon as you become an empty nester and the house vibe needs some spicing up. Settle the iguana in a courtyard next to a sliding glass door.
If you teach school, feel free to bring a young, moderately-sized iguana with you into the classroom. The iguana can rest on your shoulder while you teach and will not distract the students.
In cold weather, use electrically heated rocks to provide a temperate sanctuary for the iguana.
If the iguana does not choose to keep warm on the electrically heated rock, he may appear to have frozen stiff. Be patient, and for his revivification take guidance from the culinary arts by adapting a sous vide approach: lightly steam the creature for several hours until he regains his innate sensibilities.
Keep in mind that twenty-five year-old iguanas can be five feet long. However, if the iguana loses its tail under the neighbors’ care while you are on a road trip in a camper van, the iguana would then only measure one and a half feet in length.
When afterward the iguana accompanies you on a visit to your vacation farmhouse, set up a nice, protected shelter for the reptile. Add concrete lizard statuary for a decorative statement within the enclosure.
An adult iguana will slowly masticate a selection of vegetables and fruits you intended to eat but did not get around to consuming before the food was too close to spoiling. Add mango skins and strawberry tops as an occasional treat, but only if the fruits have been sliced by someone else.