Curiosity ~ Lucidity ~ Humanity
What was it like to be considered a foreigner in your birthplace of Vienna because your father was from Turkey? Did you feel Viennese or Austrian or Turkish or none of the above?
How much did you know about your father’s metaphysical pursuits at the back of your parents’ stationery store? Did he ever read your palms?
What was it like living in Vienna in 1938 and 1939? What did it feel like to be Jewish? Were you afraid?
Was your mother as affectionate with you in person as she was in the letters she wrote when you were safe in San Francisco while she and your father were left behind in Vienna?
What was it like to be separated from your brother Harry upon your arrival in San Francisco in October 1939? Did your mother’s cousin make you feel like a family member or were you treated as a lodger as listed on the 1940 Census?
How often did you see Harry after you came to the United States and lived with different relatives and attended different high schools? Did you feel alone? Did you have anyone to confide in, to express your worries to about your parents still trapped in Europe?
This is my 18-year old mother just a few days after having arrived in San Francisco in October 1939 attending the Golden Gate International Exposition on Treasure Island.
What did it feel like to be advised by your American cousins to change your last name to an American sounding one to sound “less Jewish” even though you had a thick accent?
Did you appreciate how strong, how resourceful, how intelligent, and how capable you were to make it on your own, especially after Harry joined the army and you had no idea of your parents’ fate?
Were you able to let go of any guilt or sense of responsibility for not being able to rescue your parents, something which was impossible for you to do while just a teenager?
Did you ever allow yourself to cry, to mourn all that you lost – your home, your family, your father? Did you ever give up hope that he would someday appear?
Were you happy with the life you built in America despite all that you had lost?
Did you understand that you were loved and valued, especially by me?
Bio-Fragment: In 2017, Helen Goldsmith discovered a trove of family papers spanning more than a century. Most of the material was written by her maternal grandmother, but her maternal grandfather’s voice was virtually absent. Helen decided that the best way to get to know him was to learn hand analysis, which he had practiced in the back of their stationery shop in Vienna in the 1930s. She discovered the magic and mirth of her ancestors, people unwilling to be defined or victimized by others, survivors who found joy in each other and in the wonders of life itself. Some family historians find relatives through DNA testing. Helen found a cousin by reading a stranger’s hands who turned out not to be a stranger at all.